


Concealing Clara

by avespika



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7576822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avespika/pseuds/avespika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara makes a brave but reckless decision and the Doctor has to use his chameleon arch to hide her from a race of time travelers bent on revenge. When she gets too comfortable with some of the locals at their new home the Doctor has to decide if he's really acting in her best interests. Professor Clara Oswald can tell her best friend, colleague, and roommate is hiding something but every time she comes near his mysterious fob watch she gets distracted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be slow to update- I have a few chapters ready but I want to get a sense of where this is going overall before I do much more with it. I don't expect it to be a particularly long story. 
> 
> If anyone else has written a chameleon-arched companion story please let me know- I'd love to read it! I wrote this because it seemed like a fun inversion of a common theme and I couldn't find any stories where it had been done.

Clara ran through a tangle of bushes, her stockings catching on thorns and her hair tangling in the branches. She could scarcely keep up with the Doctor.

He tugged her hand hard, nearly dislocating her shoulder. “Clara, a bit faster please! We can’t let the Verdukians catch our biosignatures.”

“Our what?” Clara couldn’t hear him over the sound of flying arrows whizzing past her ears and thudding into the surrounding trees.

“Biosignatures, DNA, whatever you want to call it. Life essence? Regardless, those arrows- if they find their mark those creatures will be able to track us anywhere in space or time.  They might look primitive but this is a highly advanced society complete with vortex manipulators and a nasty taste for revenge.”

She picked up speed, willing her legs to carry her into the TARDIS. All they’d done was stop these people from sacrificing a child. If they were as advanced as the Doctor said they were what were they doing tying that poor boy to an alter and holding a stone knife to his throat anyway? As they crested a hill Clara spotted the TARDIS a few meters ahead, the Doctor careening wildly down the slope ahead of her. They were just about to reach the threshold when she felt a powerful stitch spasm in her ribcage. She half-ran, half-tumbled through the door.

The Doctor slammed the door shut behind them, ran to the console, and threw them into the vortex. “That was close, next time you nick my sonic and use it to fracture an irreplaceable ceremonial knife please give me at least a thirty second warning!”

“Can we not have this fight right now? We just ran further than we have in ages and I’ve got a wicked cramp in my side.” Clara’s hand went to rub the spot where her muscles had seized and met a narrow sliver of wood.

The Doctor was busy checking displays and flipping switches. “No, we’re having this argument now because if we don’t you’re sure to use some sort of human trickery to convince me you were being brave instead of stupid.”

She lifted her hand and saw it was stained crimson with her own blood. “Uh, Doctor? I think I’m going to win this argument about whether we should be having an argument.”

“I appreciate that you're that self-assured but you can’t just win an argument by saying you’ve won it.”

“Not that- I’ve been hit.”

In two paces The Doctor had crossed the console room and placed his hand at her side, gently probing. He shook his head. “This isn’t good.”

He never took injuries this seriously. And she hadn’t yet been hurt in a way that couldn’t being addressed with a quick trip to the med bay or a scan with the sonic. Panic rushed her system, her heart hammering and her skin blanching.

He braced one hand against her side and, with the other, pulled out the impaled arrow. “OUCH! Now who needs to give warning?”

The Doctor buzzed the sonic at her and she immediately felt her pain begin to subside.

“If it was an easy fix with the sonic why did you say it wasn’t good? If it can be repaired without even bothering with the med bay it sure seems fine to me.”

“Is there a second arrow in your head? The injury isn’t what worried me. The Verdukians have your biosignature now. They’re coming.”

“But we’re in the vortex now, along with the arrow. How can they possibly have my biosignature?”

The Doctor threw a lever and the TARDIS shuttered as it fell back into an orbit. “Think of it as space and time Bluetooth. Wireless connectivity.” He opened the door and tossed the arrow into a waiting nebula, then slammed the lever again, back into the vortex. “Ditching the evidence now might not even make a difference but I had to try.” He spun the display around and leaned toward it, face set into his most terrifying scowl. Clara shivered. He gestured at the display. “They’ve already got a lock on you.”

“A lock on me?”

“They’re angry about that ridiculous artifact you destroyed. And that the kid’s life was spared. And I think because I called their leader a pudding brain. At any rate they’re coming.”

“No one can get into the TARDIS.”

“Not true, not true. She’s a tough ship but you’re flashing like a beacon, summoning loads of them right to this very spot.”

“So what do we do?”

The Doctor’s scowl softened. He turned away from her and began to rummage through a drawer. In a moment he pulled out an antique fob watch.

“Ddid I tell you how pretty you look today? You’ve done a wonderful job coloring your face in.”

He was buttering her up, she knew it. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Just tell me straight, you know flattery rarely works on me because you are truly dreadful at compliments.”

“Err, alright. I am so sorry. This is going to be incredibly painful. But I have to rewrite your biology, it’s the only way.” The Doctor aimed the sonic at the watch and buzzed it for a moment. He held the device to his ear, gave it a shake, and then buzzed it again.

“Sorry, still not catching on. Rewrite my biology?”

“Change your biosignature, make you undetectable. So the Verdukians can’t track us down and kill us.”

“Change who I am?”

“Ah, not exactly.” He held up the fob watch. “You’ll still be there, in this.”

“You want to lock me in a watch?”

The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose. “I haven’t got time to explain it fully. Just know that everything that makes you Clara Oswald- your genetics, your personality, your horrible taste in films, all of it- will be waiting for you in this watch. You’ll still look like you, you’ll have the same underlying impulses and values, but the TARDIS will give you a whole new identity and you won’t even know who Dave Oswald’s daughter from Blackpool is. Once I’ve addressed the Verdukian threat I’ll open the fob watch and you'll be yourself again.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

He looked back at her, eyes wide. “Don’t you trust me to only do something like this if it absolutely necessary?” The TARDIS shuttered. His eyebrows shot up. “We’ve been hit!”

She relented. “Ok, ok, just do it. And promise me you won’t forget me while I’m not me.”

“Oh Clara, I could never forget you.” He gave the fob watch one last buzz, placed it into a headset, and lowered the apparatus onto her head.

Her eyes burned and her joints ached. She felt as though each individual pore in her skin were about to erupt. Everything went dark. 


	2. Chapter Two

‘Never use the chameleon arch on a companion’ was one of the innumerable rules he’d made for himself then promptly broken once he’d met Clara Oswald. On reexamination he really didn’t have any choice at that moment so he probably would have axed that rule for any friend in distress. Probably. He scooped her up off the floor, slapped a sleeping patch on her neck to prevent her from waking, and gently placed her into a nearby chair.

At least he’d managed to program the damned thing to keep her human. Robbing her of her very species was a bridge too far for even him. Her biosignature was changed enough so she wouldn’t be detectable to the Verdukians, not unless she managed to recover her memories, but she was still a single-hearted, bald-bodied Earth ape. It wasn’t like he could make her a Time Lord anyway. Ultimately a good thing since the prospect of lengthening her life-span would be all too tempting.

He hadn’t had time to completely overwrite the device which, preset for him, had prompted the TARDIS to select new identities and a place to hide for both of them. The ship set them down on the planet Solum in what would be the 31st Century for humans. He read the screen and memorized the identities the TARDIS and the chameleon arch implanted in Clara’s mind. Doctor John Smith, professor of human music history. Doctor, wait, doctor? Doctor Clara Oswald, professor of historical human literature. Both working in the new department of human cultural history, that was convenient. Roommates, made sense as he would need to stay close to Clara to make sure she didn’t fiddle with the watch or form any permanent attachments while they were stuck on this planet. A small house with a shed in the back garden where he could store the TARDIS. Perfect.

A few hours later he had moved everything they would need for the duration of their stay into the small house, along with a few boxes for Clara to unpack. He intended to tell her that they’d been unpacking their belongings when she had pulled a muscle in her ribcage. He would say he had given her sleep-inducing pain medication for the injury, neatly explaining why her memory of the last few hours might be a bit distorted, why her side might still twinge a bit, and why she was waking up in the middle the day.

He was about to put the kettle on when it hit him exactly what this situation meant. Domestic life with Clara for what could take months, stuck in a house that was anything but bigger on the inside and trying to teach dim young people. Sneaking away when he could to try to dismantle the Verdukian detection apparatus without having them detect his own biosignature. Gardening, lecturing, cooking, and marking.  

He outlined his goals on a chalkboard he’d relocated to his bedroom in the house. First, make sure Clara was happy enough she would continue to live with him so he could keep an eye on her. Second, ensure she wasn’t so happy that she would want to remain on this world instead of returning to adventuring. Third, steal away in the TARDIS to Verduk without her noticing. Make her happy, make sure she didn’t form any lasting attachments, and address the threat. He couldn’t let his worries get the best of him, this was a life-or-death situation for Clara and surely he could survive a few months of domesticity for her sake.

The Doctor made two cups of tea and a few sandwiches, placed them on a tray, and carried them upstairs to the bedroom where he’d tucked her in. He carefully peeled the sleeping patch from her skin. She stirred quietly, evidently fighting to fall back asleep. He longed to let her rest, to have her sleep through this entire ordeal, but he had to know if his plan was working and she truly believed she was an entirely different Clara Oswald. He whispered her name, gently shaking her shoulder. “Clara.”

She blinked herself awake. “John?” she said cautiously, squinting in the afternoon sunlight streaming through the open bedroom window.

He expelled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The chameleon arch had worked. “Are you alright?”

“I had the strangest dream.” Clara paused to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Instead of coming here to teach were somewhere else and we were running. I was shot by an arrow.”

He forced himself to chuckle. “Overactive imagination as always. I still say you read too many novels.”

“Why have I been napping all day?”

“You pulled a muscle in your side, remember? I gave you pain medication but it made you tired. I’ve brought sandwiches and tea and I’ve nearly finished the unpacking.”

Clara yawned. “Oh. That does make sense. I think I do remember. I tried to pick up something too heavy?”

“Yes, again too many novels. I’ve unpacked them for you on a shelf in the living room. Minimized your risk of injuring yourself again.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and he felt his resolve strengthen- yes, he could do this for her.

“No trouble at all. Why don’t we take it easy the rest of the evening? Finish up the syllabuses for our courses, make arrangements to go to the University tomorrow to set up our offices and get our identification cards?”

“That sounds nice.”

They had their tea and sandwiches and got to work finishing the unpacking. The Doctor ‘remembered’ that he’d left their computers in the shed while unpacking and went to the TARDIS to retrieve technology appropriate for the era. He added a couple of mobile phones, Clara’s filled with dummy numbers for friends she might remember but hopefully would be distracted from calling by the features of the chameleon arch.

Late that evening he sat on the floor sorting through a box of vinyl records while Clara browsed her bookshelf, each pulling out the works they’d be teaching this semester. The day had gone well, with Clara seemingly oblivious that this wasn’t their ordinary life. Eventually she gave up pulling books off the shelf and came and sat next to the Doctor.

“What made you take this job at the University of Solum anyway? You always seemed happy enough at your last institution.”

Time to get creative. “Well, this is a new school, only a decade old and just now adding programs in the arts and humanities,” he fibbed, hoping he sounded convincing. “I wanted to see something new (lie) and I’ve never lived on a new colony world before (double lie).”

She nudged him playfully with her shoulder. “So it wasn’t just to follow me?”

Oh no- she didn’t think they were _together_ , did she? The TARDIS hadn’t said anything about that. He decided to feel it out. “Uh, no. That my, umm, best friend decided to come along was just an added bonus.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “It does it make it less lonely, coming here together, doesn’t it? I wonder if we’ll make any friends here. You never went on dates back home, maybe here everyone won’t find you so off-putting.”

She’d been teasing him, that was all. He decided to push back, this was obviously the sort of conversation ‘John’ and Clara were comfortable having. “I’d simply exhausted the pool, twenty years in the same city on the same planet. And you weren’t exactly tearing up the town if I recall correctly.”

“Unlike some people I didn’t have tenure so it didn’t make sense to make any serious arrangements. Here though, who knows?”

“You aren’t planning to stay that long?”

“The position is open-ended. If I meet someone interesting enough who says I won’t stick around?”

A few hours into this experiment and he was already at risk of losing Clara to this place. He counted the moments until she slept again and he was able to fly the TARDIS back to Verduk.


	3. Chapter Three

The Doctor landed back on Solum a mere thirty minutes after he had left but it had been a long night for him. He’d managed to locate the facility where the Verdukians did the tracking but he still needed a map of the building and a schematic for the machine if he was going to sabotage it. His limbs ached from twelve hours of crawling through corridors meant for creatures half his height with double his muscle mass. Unfortunately the Verdukians, for all their faults, were a fiercely loyal people so he couldn’t even manage to turn anyone to his side. Instead he was forced to do his own work, relying on only a perception filter to keep the guards from noticing him.

He sneaked upstairs and decided a warm shower was in order. He was just rinsing his hair when he heard a choked sob followed by heavy breathing. Clara. He wrapped himself in a towel and rushed into her bedroom, certain the Verdukians had caught his biosignature and found them once again.

He found her alone in her bed and safe, but she was stiff and her eyes were wide and vacant. He leaned over, a few drops of water escaping his hair and landing squarely on her forehead. The drops startled her out of her unresponsive state. “Watch it!”

“Sorry, I thought you were being attacked. What happened?”

“Bad dream,” she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

“We’ve just moved to a new planet, your first time off-world, right?” She nodded. “Then it’s important you talk about this, so you can adapt.”

She sighed. “Ok, I’ll talk if you go put some pants on.”

The Doctor looked down at his bare chest and the towel encircling his waist. Right, clothing. “Be back in a moment.” He retreated to his bedroom and pulled on a pair of plaid pajamas.

“Good to see I won’t need to be adding ‘naked friend-slash-colleague’ to my list of nightmares” Clara quipped as he reentered the room.

He fell into the chair at her bedside. “So, nightmares during naps and at night. What were you dreaming?”

She blushed a bit. “It’s going to sound ridiculous. We were on a train, but in space? And there was a mummy coming after us.”

She was recalling actual events in her dreams. He’d need to monitor this. “Let’s get you a dream journal. You can write down whatever is running through your head at night, get it out onto paper. It should help you process it.”

“Good idea.”

She’d gone for it, excellent. Finding time to review the journal entries was added to his Clara protection plans.

“Are you going to be ok to go back to sleep? If not I may have some medicine…”

“It’s too quiet here on this underdeveloped world. No traffic, and I’ve never lived anywhere without neighbors sharing a wall. Can you tell me a story or something, distract me so I can go back to sleep?”

His Clara, always looking for the bustle of activity and an adventure. He smiled and searched his memory for any experiences that might have happened within ‘John’s’ lifetime. “Of course. Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Azikiwe's comet from the surface of Gisemba? A once in a millennium occurrence.”

She settled back into her pillow. “No. What’s Gisemba like?”

“A great domed city at each pole, the equator is far too warm. Vast plains inside, where they’ve established great colonies of grasses from all over the galaxy. Grazing animals galore. And the music, oh, the music. The things Gisembians can do with a guitar with that extra set of arms. Phenomenal.”

“I’d love to see it.”

“So why don’t we go?”

She looked up at him and tapped her chin. “Gee, I don’t know. We’re under at least a year’s contract here and the journey to Gisemba would take roughly three years? Passage on an appropriate deep space liner would cost triple my annual salary? How did you end up there anyway?”

Time to dodge. “Well, you know… Spacefleet brat, right? Mum was assigned to a deep space mission and I traveled on the ship with her. We did a re-provisioning stop there.”

Clara nodded. “Right, right. I forgot you aren’t originally from Earth.”

She’d bought it. He had to be more careful. “Ok, enough story time Ms…err Dr. Oswald. We’ve got plans tomorrow, get some rest.”

“Good night, John.”

“Good night, Clara.”

Back in his own room the Doctor threw open his window to the autumn breeze and leaned outside. Just above the horizon, glowing faintly, was the star that shone on Gisemba. There were so many wonders he hadn’t had the chance to show Clara. Once she was herself again he would not waste a moment, no more meting out marvels for special occasions to keep her interested between the dangerous bits. He withdrew the fob watch from his breast pocket and held it flat in his palm. Clara deserved to see it all.


	4. Chapter Four

He awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee. His TARDIS was truly a fantastic vessel. “Thanks, sexy,” he muttered to his ship.

“Sexy now, am I, and all it took was a cup of coffee?” Clara sat next to his bed, two cups of coffee set on the nightstand next to her.

“Err, sorry. I was having a dream.” He could feel heat rising to his ears.

“Wish my dreams were more like yours.” She winked at him and he felt the warmth on his face grow from ‘distant ember’ to ‘uncontrollable blaze.’ “Anyway, up and at it. You said we’d pop by the University today and I’ve decided I’m excited about it.

“Right, the University. You go and get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

The sky outside his window was pale grey, the trees in the garden slightly bent with the wind. He pulled on a wooly jumper and plaid trousers, tucked the fob watch into his pocket, then descended the staircase to look for Clara. He found her in the front hallway decked out in a skirt, tights, jumper, and riding boots that went nearly to her knee. He was going to have a difficult time keeping anyone from wanting a relationship with Clara with her looking like that. For a moment he regretted not bullying the TARDIS into convincing this Clara that he was her partner. Of course that would not have done them any good; he couldn’t take advantage like that.

“Ready to go?” she offered him her hand.

“Yes.” He cupped her hand and they set off on the short walk to the University.

For a new institution they’d done an excellent job of making the campus look old. It was all red brick and ivy, trees flush with fall color. It clearly pleased Clara, who delighted in every detail, even the faux-weathering on the copper window frames. He would have to thank the TARDIS for choosing somewhere it would be easy to keep her occupied.

They arrived at the history building and she dropped his hand as they ascended the wide staircase outside the doors. He loathed losing the physical connection but she was still within his sight and that’s as close as she had to be, right? Eventually he’d have to let her go off on her own to teach so he’d better get used to flying without a net sooner or later. Maybe the chameleon-arched Clara would be less prone to finding trouble. Calculated risks.

The first unplanned risk greeted them at the top of the staircase. “Hi, Annabeth Yu, department resources and scheduling. You must be Dr. Oswald and Dr. Smith from St. Andrews.” The Doctor watched Clara look the young woman up and down from head to toe. Apparently this version was even more flirtatious than the Clara in the watch.

“Yes, Clara Oswald here. Nice to meet you, Ms. Yu.”

“Annabeth is fine, thanks. I can get you the keys to your offices, get you all set up.”

“That would be lovely, thanks.”

They followed Annabeth up another staircase and down the hall, Clara’s eyes alternately focused on the doors they passed and the backside of their guide. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

“Dr. Oswald on the right, Dr. Smith on the left.” He opened the door to find his office, small but comfortable. A desk that converted from sitting to standing height with a crank, a row of shelves, a window that looked down into a garden. Not a bad place to be stuck for a few hours at a time. He’d have to move a few books and guitars in here to make the place suitable but it would do.

He could hear Annabeth follow Clara into her presumably identical office next door. “This is perfect, thanks. Now I always like to know, what’s your coffee order? I find getting in good with the people who handle the schedules is always a top priority.” He walked next door and leaned against the door frame, watching the two women talk.

“One sugar no cream.”

“Ooo, that’s an awful lot to remember.” Clara picked up a sticky note. “You should write that down for me so I don’t forget it.”

Annabeth laughed. “Ok, you got it.”

“And since you’re writing anyway, how about your phone number?”

The Doctor saw the smirk on Clara’s face as the young woman wrote down a series of digits. As they left to head for the identification office she whispered in his ear. “Still got it.”

Of course she had, look at her, she was gorgeous, flirtatious, and evidently in this version of things a brilliant academic. Not that she wasn’t always brilliant. He felt a pang of jealousy but tamped it down. It might do Clara some good to blow off steam and Annabeth looked a bit young for her to get seriously involved with. This situation was threatening only to his ego, and only in the short run. It could be worse.

They ran a series of other on-campus errands and ended their day at the library, exploring the available literature. True to the fake-ancient theme the building contained actual books, not just digital scans. He hoped the TARDIS had given Clara sufficient knowledge of the literary cannon of the last millennium so she could convincingly teach it. Fortunately she was pulling titles off the shelves and nodding along, offering facts about novels published well after the years she’d been on Earth.

She reached for one book on a particularly high shelf, straining to grasp it. He was just stepping in to offer his help when a red-haired man roughly a decade older than Clara bumped her with a sliding shelving ladder.

“Sorry there love, didn’t see you.”

“No trouble. Actually, may I use your ladder for a moment? I was reaching for something.”

“Certainly, be my guest.” The man waived Clara up the steps. “While you’re up there mind fetching me a copy of _The Dreamer’s Gate_?”

“Afraid I can’t.”

“And why’s that?”

“There’s only one and I was just about to take it out for myself.”

“Now we have a problem, miss…? Sorry, didn’t catch your name.”

Clara stepped down the ladder with the book tucked under her arm and offered the man her hand. “That’s because I didn’t give it. Clara Oswald, professor of historical literature.”

“Josiah Bridges, professor of temporal physics.”

Clara’s eyebrow arched. “Temporal physics? Clever boy. How’s the time travel business?”

“Historically terrible but there’s great hope for the future if we can find a way to get there.”

Clara smiled. There was no way she was falling for this tripe, was there? No, she was just too friendly.

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to warp yourself to a future where I’ve returned this book.”

“Or you could just, I don’t know, give me your number and call me when you’ve finished it.”

Here’s the part he likes, the part where Clara tells the presumptuous lady or gentleman that she is not interested, thank you very much.

“Ok, pass me your mobile.”

Unbelievable. A fake number then? He peeked over her shoulder and watched her type in the correct digits. No such luck.

“See you around, Dr. Oswald.”

“I should think so, Dr. Bridges.”

Clara and the Doctor walked home as the sun was setting. His mind wandered to Verduk. The sooner he could locate and destroy that rubbish tracking machine the better.

“We didn’t do half bad today, did we?” Clara mused next to him. “Got an office, got our identification sorted, gave the payroll office our deposit information, and I traded numbers with two attractive strangers.

“Hmm.”

“Oh come on, you have to be at least a little proud of me! My first time on another world and I’m already blending in with the colonists.”

“You don’t have to be too friendly. There are plenty of other worlds to see, might not be wise to get too attached to this one.”

“Who said anything about getting too attached? You’re just jealous because that cute girl went for me over you.”

“I think you went for her, not the other way around. And she’s practically a child, she isn’t the one I’m worried about.”

“Josiah Bridges? He was perfectly friendly. What was wrong with him?”

“Temporal physics, I mean really. Time travel is still four centuries off.”

“How would you know when time travel will happen? Dr. Bridges is the expert. You teach music history.”

“Regardless, I didn’t like him.”

“Because he’s ginger?”

“Because he presumed you’d give him your phone number, just like that.”

“It’s none of your business who I give my number to!”

“It’s your first time off world. I have a duty of care!”

“Like hell you do! I’m an adult.”

They arrived at their house and she stormed up the front steps.

“I’m going to keep walking then.”

“And I’m going to go reread _The Dreamer’s Gate_ so I can talk about it with Josiah. Good night.”


	5. Chapter Five

At least the argument gave him an excuse to stay out. Still fuming, the Doctor circled around the block then walked into the garden shed where the TARDIS was waiting.

The moment he stepped into the ship all the anger went out of him. Clara was acting perfectly reasonably for an eligible young woman exploring her new home. Of course she would want to socialize and date even if she fancied a total crackpot like Bridges. Since she’d lost Danny he’d gotten used to being the only person really close to her. If somewhere in their travels she found someone who could give her the things she’d wanted with Danny- children, a home, ordinary life- that would be her choice to make. It was not the first time he regretted all he couldn’t give her. All the stars and all their worlds but not a child’s laugh, a little house, Sunday tea with her gran.

She’d retain her memories of this life after she was restored. Brave Joan Redfern from his turn in the fob watch still made occasional appearances in his dreams. Joan hadn’t agreed to travel with him but Annabeth or Bridges might feel differently about Clara. Or Clara might want to stay with them.

It was silly of him to contemplate these strangers falling in love with Clara; they’d only just met her. But he knew what she could do or at least what she’d done to him. Back when he wore that stupid bowtie and equally idiotic grin he was hers in mere moments.

Of course nothing had changed on regeneration except he’d become even less willing to admit to it. Older body, new mission to find Gallifrey, drastically different lifespans especially considering his new regeneration cycle. Far too much to ask any human to suffer. So he settled into showing her the universe as her friend.

He pulled the fob watch from his pocket and raised it to his ear. A comfortable humming echoed almost imperceptibly from within. Clara’s voice, faint but present. He let the sound spread through his body, reminding him it would all be worth it to save her. Even if at the end of the journey he lost her to another man or woman.

He was getting ahead of himself, better to focus on the task at hand. The Doctor placed the watch back in his pocket and navigated the TARDIS to Verduk. Once he touched down he broke into a research facility, hoping to nick a schematic for the tracking machine. Instead he found himself grappling with an experimental attack animal the Verdukian scientists were evidently in the process of perfecting. It was a bit like a flesh-eating chipmunk and it had broken the skin on his hands in several places before it was subdued. He fled to tend to his wounds and regroup.

Landing back on Solum he trudged around the back of the shed and discovered Clara seated on a bench in the garden gazing up at the triplet moons that graced the skies. He hung his head and approached her.

“You’re out late.”

“Ah, yeah. Needed to think a bit. I’m sorry. About earlier. You were right, it’s none of my business.”

She patted the bench next to her and he sat. “I accept your apology. And I understand, we both tend to let our tempers get the best of us. Two control freaks living together. Just know I can make my own decisions and I won’t ask you to agree with them, just accept that they are mine to make.”

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. “I will.”

“And the truth is I never would have been brave enough to come here if it hadn’t been for you. All those talks about seeing the stars. When you said you were taking this post and there was one open in my field, well, easy choice. Really.”

He titled his head toward the sky. “It really is something to see the sky from another planet.”

 “You lived all over as a kid. Did you ever get tired of new skies?”

“Not for a second.”

“I think I agree, even if I’ve only seen two. You know, I couldn’t stay cross with you once I came out here and thought about how small all of this is. So much out there we will never see.”

She could see it all if he could just fix this situation and get her, the real her, out of the watch. “Maybe.”

She stood. “Make up properly and hug?”

He rose and embraced her, pressing his cheek to her hair as her arms went around his waist. The watch in his pocket grew warm.

“What were we doing outside again?” she asked after a moment.

“I was apologizing and you were stargazing.”

“Oh, right. I got distracted for a moment, couldn’t remember where I was.”

“You’re just tired, it was a big day. Head upstairs, I’ll lock the gate.”

He watched her retreat and paused a moment, securing the gate as promised. Halfway back across the lawn he changed directions and headed back into the TARDIS. The only thing worse than the moments in the TARDIS without her were the moments with her on Solum when he couldn’t whisk her away to the stars.


	6. Chapter Six

The third time the Doctor attempted to quell the Verdukian threat went just as poorly as the previous attempts. An underground tunnel into the building holding the tracker machine proved to actually be a tunnel into a maximum security prison. Unfortunately he found it much harder to get out of than it was to break into. Two full weeks later he emerged with a scruffy beard, his frame having grown even gaunter during the ordeal. Despite the hardships he had suffered his only thought was getting back to Clara.

He landed the TARDIS back on Solum just as the sun was rising. He had every intention of giving himself a full night to rest but evidently he had misjudged. He stumbled into the house and went to climb the stairs to his bedroom only to meet Clara at the top.

“What happened? You look like hell!”

“I was…sick. Couldn’t sleep. Must have been food poisoning from yesterday. Didn’t you think those eggs at that café were a bit suspect?”

“I feel fine. And the eggs don’t explain how you’ve managed to grow a full beard overnight.”

He patted his face. “Oh, this? Errr. Tarkalean flu, must be. Causes excessive facial hair growth.”

Clara’s eyes went wide.

“Relax, it isn’t contagious, not once the hair growth begins. Sorry to alarm you.” Hopefully she wouldn’t research the disease he’d just made up.

“Regardless, if you’re ill go back to bed!”

“I’m fine, really.”

“Do as you’re told. Bed. Now.”

He rolled his eyes but allowed her to back him into his bedroom. She stood in the doorway and glared at him until he emptied his pockets, turned down the duvet, and slid between the sheets.

“Stay right there.”

“Got it, boss.”

She disappeared and he stroked the whiskers on his chin. Idiot. He had to stop forgetting what he was doing. There were perfectly reasonable ways to avoid this, like shaving on the TARDIS or not being careless and getting captured in the first place. Clara was an observant woman and she was bound to notice sooner or later that he was saying and doing nonsensical things.

Clara returned a few moments later with toast and tea. She sat on the end of his bed with her arms crossed, making sure he consumed every last drop of tea and crumb of toast. Once she was satisfied he was sufficiently hydrated and fed she began asking questions.

“How long does this flu-thing last?”

“I feel fine already, promise.”

“John.”

He would have to lie more to make the first lie convincing. She’d likely be cross with him once she was restored for all of these charades he’d put her through. “Ok, ok, it’s like, uh, a day long thing.”

“Since it’s only Friday you have no reason not to spend the entire day in bed. We don’t have the new faculty orientation until Monday morning and there are no classes until Wednesday.”

“Do you really thing that’s necessary? I’m sure I’m fine. Let’s go out, come on.” He attempted to rise only to meet her arm flung out against his chest. “Oh, come on. Remember how you asked me to treat you like an adult? That’s supposed to be a mutual thing.”

“I’m not ill, just friendly. Big difference.”

He relented. “Fine, fine, you win. But I’m going to be terribly bored.”

“No pouting either. You can have a book or a guitar.”

“Oh wow, thanks _mother_ , a book _or_ a guitar. That’ll keep me occupied for hours.”

“Lose the sarcasm and name a book you’d like me to fetch for you.”

“I have working legs. But if you insist I’d like _101 Star Systems_.”

“That’s the spirit.” She gave him a brief smile and left the room, returning a few minutes later with a thick book. “This looks good, shove over.”

“What?”

“You said you aren’t contagious anymore, right? And the photos in this book are gorgeous. Come on, show me your favorites.”

The Doctor moved to the left and relaxed into the pillows. Perhaps a fake sick day spent reading with Clara was just the thing he needed. He could use a refresh before heading back to that beastly planet or dealing with the dull responsibilities he had here.

For the next two hours they slowly made their way through the book, pausing at each system to review photos, read facts, and imagine what it would be like to stand on the other words. The Doctor had never been so content to be still. He thought he was doing quite a nice job pretending to be ignorant about the complexities of the galaxy while entertaining her with the occasional fact “John” had picked up in his travels. That was until Clara noticed the fob watch on his night stand.

“What’s this? I’ve never seen it before.”

“Oh that old thing, just a family heirloom.”

“Huh. Does it still work?” Her fingers traced around the clasp, trying to determine how to open it.

The Doctor snatched the fob watch away. “Careful it’s… delicate. Can’t be opened without risking the whole piece.”

“Why carry a timepiece that you can’t use to tell the time?”

“Sentimental value.”

Clara shook her head. “You, sentimental value, the man who wouldn’t even sing carols with me at Christmas. Unbelievable.”

“Believe it.”

Her mobile rang and she excused herself to answer it. He used the opportunity to stretch and flip ahead in the book. Still fifty-six star systems to see. That could buy them another two hours of uninterrupted, low-risk time together during which Clara couldn’t frustrate any of his goals for their stay on Solum.

Clara had a broad smile on her face when she returned. “What are you so happy about, has the shop got a sale on face paints?”

She shot him a scowl but there was no real malice behind it. “No, but as a matter of fact I do have to do my makeup today. I’ve got a date!”

His stomach lurched. “A date?”

She nodded. “With Josiah. Coffee and chat. I want to hear about his research, he wants to hear about how I ended up here. We both want to talk about all the activities going on this semester. Should be great!”

“Yeah, if you like listening to an idiot blather on about his half-baked ideas.”

“Ugh, you said you wouldn’t.”

“You’re right, I did say that. So I won’t say anything at all.”

“Clever boy.”

That phrase. He wanted to grasp her hand, pull her back into the TARDIS, and head for the stars. Instead he forced a smile and gave her a terse wave. “Ok, have fun.”

“Our date isn’t until later tonight. You don’t just ring someone for a first date and expect delivery in thirty minutes or less; I’m not a pizza. When was the last time you had one?”

“A pizza? On the ship here I should think.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “A date, a proper date. You know, with a person you fancy, and a drink or a dinner.”

For the Doctor that described every day with Clara. “It’s been a few years” he lied.

“Well you ought to try again. If this goes well maybe I’ll ask Josiah, see if he’s got any friends or colleagues you could meet. Might be fun to double up.”

“Fun,” he echoed.

Clara titled her head, considering him. “You look nauseous, are you sure you don’t need anything?”

For a moment he considering leaning into this fake illness, playing so sick she cancelled on Bridges and spent the whole evening tutting over him. But the mission was to make her believe this was her real life and he could never deny her anything, even a bit of merriment with some pea-brained prat. “Just sleep I think.”

Clara nodded. “I’ll leave you to it. Call for me if you need anything.”

He lay awake for hours, feigning sleep on the occasions Clara chose to check in on him. Finally the sun was setting and she gently brushed her hand across his forehead.

“I’m heading out. You don’t feel feverish so I’m assuming it’s ok to leave you here alone? I can cancel on Josiah if you need me.”

She looked down at him with genuine concern. Hearts aching, he turned away from her and put on his best dazed-with-sleep voice. “M’fine. Just…” he added a long yawn for effect “need a little more rest. Have a good time.”

“Call me if you need anything.” She brushed her lips lightly against his forehead and left for the evening.


	7. Chapter Seven

Once Clara was gone the Doctor figured he had at least an hour to check her dream diary, get down to the TARDIS, shave, and take another crack at Verduk. The diary didn’t show any changes, just another dream where she was running down mysterious corridors, pretty tame as time-travel themed dreams went. Once aboard the TARDIS he went back to the building where the tracking device was stored and snuck listening devices into a variety rooms. If he could steal them back maybe he’d overhear the Verdukians discussing their methods. Fortunately this time he returned back to Solum without incident. He shaved and had a shower in the TARDIS then went to wait up for Clara.

He settled onto the sofa and picked up a guitar, idly tuning it and playing a few songs. Several hours passed and the sun had long since set. Where was she? He didn’t recall her dates with Danny Pink lasting this long but then again he’d usually skipped ahead across those boring parts. How late were coffee shops even open on Solum? She might think it was odd he was waiting up. He wondered if she might read it as too parental or jealous. But he’d feigned napping all day so he could always use the excuse that he was too well-rested to sleep.

Finally at a quarter to midnight he heard her lock in the key below. He tried desperately not to look up as she entered.

“Hey, what are you doing up?”

“Slept all day, thought I’d mess around on this old thing. How was your date?”

“Really nice. Coffee and an art gallery.”

“That sounds pleasant.” He’d given her all of time and space and she was impressed with an art gallery. Next time he’d take her skiing on Olympus Mons. Beat that for a date.

“Yeah, I think I’ll see him again.”

“Not Annabeth?”

“Why not both, play the field?” That was a comforting thought, Clara enjoying herself without any real commitments.  “But I did really like Josiah, might become a more serious thing. Who knows?”

The Doctor certainly didn’t. Time to change the topic before he said the wrong thing again and made her cross. “Care for a nightcap?”

“You’ve shaved, I presume you’re feeling better?” He nodded. “Sure, why not?”

They ducked into the kitchen and the Doctor took a bottle of pale green liquid out of a cupboard.

“Oooo, what’s that?” Clara asked.

“Made from a local mushroom- don’t make that face, they aren’t like Earth mushrooms, they’re sort of like spongier pineapples? Well they taste a bit like pineapples, and they make this sort of fortified wine with them. I think you’ll like it.” He poured a little of the drink into a pair of glasses and handed one to her.

She looked down at the liquid, swirled it a bit, and frowned up at him. “I did miss you a bit tonight, you know. I realized we haven’t been apart more than an hour since the trip to Solum began. It felt a bit like forgetting to put on a ring you always wear, sort of nagged at me.”

A rush of feeling surged from the Doctor’s head down through his chest and settled in his stomach. His free hand reached for the countertop to steady himself. “Well, I think I can drink to that” he said softly. He raised his glass, inclined it toward her. “To new adventures with old friends.”

She clinked her glass against his and tipped back the green liquor. “Mmm, you’re right Doctor, this does taste like pineapple.”

He froze. What had she just called him?

Clara took another sip. “Yes, Dr. Smith- guide to rock and roll, exotic star systems, and the local intoxicants.

He exhaled. She was just complimenting the drink, jokingly using his academic title. Nothing to worry about. They finished their drinks and retired for the evening.

The next morning he found her seated in her bedroom combing her hair. She looked up at him and smiled. “All recovered then?”

“Yes, feeling great. Why don’t we go out for a bit today, explore the town?”

“I’d love to but I’ve got a brunch date. Annabeth. Arranged for it last night on my way out to meet Josiah.”

He tried not to sound dejected. “Oh, alright then. I’ll, err, do some of the chores around here. Probably the garden needs to be weeded.”

“No, go out. Enjoy yourself. I’m going on my second social call since arrival and you haven’t been anywhere but the university and our house. See a bit of the local color, explore.”

If he stayed here and his next attempt on Verduk was successful he might have her back before they even had to start the semester. “Really, I think I’d better stay here.”

“I won’t have you become a hermit. Walk me into town for my date then go down to the shore or something.” Her eyes were framed by dark liner, so warm and inviting. He was utterly hopeless, even when her only invitation to him was a ten minute walk.

“Oh, alright then.”

The walk into town was pleasant, the fall air crisp and the sky bright. A few times he had to pause to ensure she didn’t lose her balance- why she insisted on such impractically high shoes in a town with cobblestone footpaths was beyond him. He delivered her to the door of a small restaurant, ankles fortunately untwisted. She paused before entering.

“Thanks for walking with me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“You always take me places- I just want to say I appreciate it, from this walk to back on Earth, when it was concerts and observatories. And now, all the way to Solum, our ultimate adventure.”

He hoped it would not be their last adventure together. “You’ve just got an adventurous spirit, I couldn’t help but encourage that.”

“Oh, there’s Annabeth- see you later.”

“See you.”

He decided to follow Clara’s recommendation and continue down to the shoreline. The ocean on this world was fresh, with none of the salt biting at his nose like he might have found on Earth. Aliens waters to both of them. He wondered what sort of game the TARDIS was playing by giving Clara and him these particular identities. Not lovers but certainly very close- this Clara was constantly acting with great affection and evidently had plenty of positive memories of her time spent with him. It was painfully hard to treat this as a different iteration of Clara. Better for her to be on a date than walking on this frankly romantic seashore with a two-thousand year old Time Lord.

Eventually he walked back up toward the center of town, intent on finding a new distraction. Instead he encountered Clara tottering up the sidewalk. He drew up next to her.

“How’d it go?”

“Not as well as last night.”

“What happened?”

She shrugged. “Not a good match. As friends, perhaps, but not for dating. She’s very young and, honestly, rather dull. Gorgeous, but dull.”

“And Bridges isn’t?”

“No- the work he does… it’s fascinating. I think I’m at the age now where I’m mostly interested in what’s up here,” she tapped her forehead. “Give me a person with some substance, you know?”

It didn’t look good for his plan to convince her to keep her relationships casual. “We’re still new here, keep your options open,” he said with artificial lightness.

“But Josiah- temporal physics, John. So interesting. A good taste in literature, and did you know he plays the drums?”

The Doctor’s jaw clenched. Temporal physics, purely theoretical and a drummer, really. Better to say nothing than to have another argument. He settled on feigned enthusiasm.

“Drums, really interesting.”

She beamed back at him. “Look at that, a positive comment!”

The ache in his jaw was migrating to his head. “Anyway, what’s the plan for tomorrow? Another date?”

“Nope, thought we could spend it at home before the chaos of our first week of work.”

Cheered by the thought of a day with Clara all to himself again he led the way back to their house.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to just go ahead and add all of the remaining chapters, so here they are.

Clara was haunted by weird dreams, half-remembered nightmares filled with artwork come to life and suckers shooting lasers. She often felt the world was just slightly off, like she was viewing everything through a thin haze. At first she assumed it was simply home sickness but she did not miss Earth. It was more like she was missing part of herself.

The only moments she felt entirely well were the moments she was physically close to John. She’d been seeking out every opportunity she could, hoping he wouldn’t think she’d gotten clingy over the course of the journey to their new home. She’d grab his hand, offer a hug, brush her hand across his cheek, sit close to him, whatever she could to get near enough to quiet her mind.  

At the same time she tried to pull away a bit, test the waters of her new community and its dating pool. She couldn’t lean on John to provide her peace of mind forever. Her dear friend who, honestly, seemed to be acting a bit out of sorts himself. He was jittery, pale, even more emaciated than usual. Despite his status as a seasoned traveler the journey to Solum must have been unusually hard on him.

And then there was Friday night, the way he’d looked at her when she’d hinted at how she’d been feeling whenever they were apart. Like the world was collapsing around him. He’d grasped at the countertop to keep from falling over. At first she’d assumed he was just weak from being ill but, no, she caught flashes of that same look throughout the day on Saturday and during their day of rest and housework on Sunday.

She shrugged it off and got to work getting ready for the day. She would be near enough to him not to feel completely lost during their orientation so that was a small comfort. And she might see Josiah around. He was certainly attractive, clever with just enough quirkiness to keep things interesting.

They walked to the University’s administration building and settled in for orientation. There were several hours of dull lecturing- policies on everything from nuclear safety in the experimental labs to canceling class for inclement weather, information about where to find medical and child care, and the distribution of keychains with the University’s mascot.

Finally they were released to another room for lunch. Clara stretched gratefully and then half-dragged John to a table where Josiah was already seated.

“Are these seats taken?” she asked.

“Of course not, sit down, sit down! John, was it?”

John silently nodded and they sat. Josiah turned to her and smiled broadly.

“So, having fun yet learning how we do things here?”

Clara rolled her eyes. “Oh, loads. I mean separate policies for cold weather generally and snow specifically?”

“I know, because they couldn’t just make one thing cover both, right?”

“So how much longer does this thing usually run?”

“They know we get tired of it after lunch so only about two more hours. I’m done after this though, the rest of the orientation is just for new faculty. Actually, do you have any plans after your session ends?”

Clara smiled. “No, I’m free. Why?”

“Well, since we’re both here, why don’t I show you my lab? You said you’d like to see it and my grad students are doing some interesting work, a practical application of my wormhole detection equation. Results so far have been promising.”

John laughed. She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. Couldn’t he just stay quiet?

“What’s so funny?” Josiah asked.

“You really think that’ll work, just find a wormhole and pop back in time, just like that?”

“Well, we’d have to build a ship that could withstand the forces inside the wormhole but that’s what engineers are for. The math checks out.”

“That’s because you haven’t figured out how to account for-”

“You really think you know more about time travel than I do? Aren’t you a music teacher?”

“Professor of music history! And anyone with any grounding in physics could see where you pudding brains are screwing up your calculations.”

Clara rose. “Enough. John, Josiah has been nothing but welcoming to me and this is his field of study. Please keep your opinions to yourself.”

John ducked his head and muttered an apology.

“That’s better,” said Clara.” And yes, Josiah, I’d like to see your lab after we finish here.”

The rest of orientation passed more quickly with the promise of visiting an interesting new spot on campus. Once they were dismissed Clara bid John farewell and went to find the lab. On the walk across campus she thought over the situation from earlier in the day. She couldn’t date someone her best friend hated but then again John had absolutely no reason not to like Josiah. She briefly wondered if John might be jealous but she dismissed the notion quickly. He’d never shown her any romantic interest in the past. In fact she dimly recalled having a rather serious crush on him when she first met him. Fortunately it had faded before they’d left for this planet. Except her compulsive need to be near him, but that was probably just because he was the last anchor to her old life, right?

Anyway, this was her chance at a new beginning. She arrived at the door of Josiah’s lab and knocked.

The enthusiastic physicist flung the door open and ushered her inside. “Clara! So excited to see you. And for you to see what I’ve got in here. Fascinating stuff.”

The lab was captivating, lots of weird equations on chalk boards and systems for firing photons at films. “Wow, so you really think you’ve got a shot at achieving time travel here?” she asked.

“We’ve finally got the particle accelerator built, it’s amazing how small they can be these days. I think we’ll be sending photons all over soon enough. Anything more complicated, probably not for some time, but who knows? I’ll be here until I make it happen.”

Josiah gave her the full tour of the lab, pausing to patiently explain anything she asked about. His passion was contagious and Clara found herself more and more interested in the work he was doing.

Eventually he hopped up on an open counter and gestured for her to follow. He turned toward her and shook his head. “Look, all this talk about me and my work, I’ve got to be boring you. Let’s talk about what you study.”

Clara spoke about her discipline and which works she was excited to teach her students. But she felt odd, like the words were coming from somewhere else. She also found she was missing John again. Time to stop thinking and start doing. She leaned in and pressed her lips against Josiah’s.

Clearly he wasn’t as good at not talking as he was at talking, but the kiss was decent enough. Sometimes these academic types needed a bit of encouragement to really get going. She dragged her teeth across his bottom lip and was met with a small gasp. That’s the ticket. His mouth opened against hers and she launched into a deeper kiss.

After their laboratory snog Josiah insisted on walking her home. When they approached her house his steps slowed.

“Uh, Clara? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s on your mind?”

“Your roommate, Dr. Smith? Are you two like, related, or is he an ex, or…”

Clara laughed. “Just a friend. Very close friends, colleagues for my entire professional career, but nothing more than that.” Maybe a lie, but just a little one, and not one that was likely to be discovered.

Josiah’s face brightened. “You know I thought as much, but I wanted to be sure. Because, the thing is I really like you. I know it’s only been two dates, if you even count my lab as a date. But I’d like to see where this goes.”

Something tugged at the back of Clara’s mind, the image of a blue box and a man wearing a bow-tie. She blinked it away. “Yeah. I’d like that.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Jealous Doctor Idiot. If he didn’t want to know what Clara and that dullard Bridges were getting up to he probably shouldn’t have been sitting against the living room window when she was coming home from a date. Instead he’d subjected himself “just a friend,” “colleague,” “I’d like to see where this goes,” all sealed with a kiss. Losing her to someone like this would be worst of all as he didn’t think Bridges was the sort to follow them into the TARDIS.

But if he’d hidden love in all the years he’s known her he could certainly hide as base an emotion as jealousy. He feigned surprise when the door clicked and Clara stepped through.

“Back so soon?”

“It’s been four hours. I wouldn’t call that soon.”

“Soon for a time-travel lab. He didn’t whisk you away to watch your distant ancestors brewing in the primordial soup of Earth’s early oceans?”

Clara made that scrunched-face look. He wished he’d kept the illustration telling him what it meant. “What? No. He told you it’s only theory. No such thing as time travel yet and, besides, he said it isn’t possible to travel in time and space at the same time. Four hours certainly won’t get you to Earth from here.”

“Hmpf. Anyway, I’ve got to go upstairs, I’ve got a…thing.”

“Right, ok. Or, I don’t know, we could go back out in the garden and look at the stars again?”

His autopilot Clara-asks-you-a-question reply kicked in. “Yes, let’s.” Soon enough she was leaning against him on the bench in the garden, his alone again if only for a moment.

\--

Five weeks of torture followed. Dim-witted students in the classrooms, Clara kissing Bridges around various corners, the threat on Verduke still unresolved. And then the ultimate insult, offered by Clara one evening interrupting their usual star gazing ritual.

“So, big faculty reception at the university president’s residence. Are you going?”

“I can scarcely stand to be around our colleagues during faculty meetings, why would I want to go to some boring formal dinner?”

“Maybe because I already arranged a date for you?”

The Doctor groaned. “What did you do that for? I’m perfectly content.”

“That’s a lie and you know it! You’ve been so short-tempered lately and Josiah says since it’s so isolating, living on such an underpopulated planet, you need-”

“Oh, so this was Bridge’s idea, and that automatically makes it brilliant?”

“Could you just lay off my boyfriend? He’s not a bad person, maybe if you got to know him?”

Boyfriend, a commitment if only in words. He felt a sickening drop in his stomach. “I already know everything I need to know, thank you.”

“Doctor, can’t you just do this one thing for me?”

The use of his proper title jolted him back to reality. That was the real Clara bleeding through and even if he wasn’t happy he had to protect her. Damaging her trust would just drive her away. He nodded his assent. “Ok. You got it.

\--

The day of the damned faculty dinner arrived and the Doctor reluctantly pulled out a proper suit and got dressed. He was just about to put on a tie when Clara waltzed into his bedroom.

She was wrapped in red silk that danced around her like flames. He forgot to breathe and coughed a little as his respiratory bypass kicked in.

“How do I look?” she asked, tossing her head back and forth to demonstrate the bounce in her hair.

“Impossible,” he said, unable to concentrate on unknotting the tie that hung limply in his hands.

Clara stepped toward him and laughed. “Me or that tie? I know you hate them but they aren’t optional tonight and you’re wrinkling it.” He felt the silk slide through his hands as she took the tie. “I can see why you rarely wear them. This one must still be tied from last century.”

“Something like that.” He was glad her eyes were fixed on untying the knot so she might miss his blush.

Then she leaned toward him and looped the thin strip of fabric around his neck. Her fingers, short but practiced, were at his throat, looping and knotting, too close for comfort. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as she reached behind his head to lay his collar flat. With a final tug on the knot she stood back and surveyed her work.

“That ought to hold,” she said.

“Th-thanks,” he stammered. His emotional controls were being tested before they even got out the door.

A sharp knock struck the door, making him jump. Clara went to answer it.

“Dr. Smith!” said Bridges. “This is Evangeline, she’s an exobiologist. Evangeline, Clara’s friend John Smith.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Evangeline. She stuck out her hand toward the Doctor. He grasped it and gave a brief shake and a tight smile.

“Pleased as well.” He chanced a peek a Clara who had her arms around Bridges. He was in for a difficult evening. “Well, suppose we ought to get going.”

Bridges presented Clara with a small bouquet and then the group set off for the party. As much as he thought Bridges an airhead he was at least glad the man was thoughtful. Still, every moment in the couple’s presence was torture. With Danny he hadn’t fully grasped the depth of his feelings. But seeing Clara mourning him, knowing even a terrible betrayal would not change how much he cared for her, and doing anything to make her pain stop even if it meant losing her had taught him the agonizing truth of his love for her.

At dinner he attempted to engage in the conversation around the table but kept getting distracted. Something felt off, and he knew he must look paranoid as he glanced around the room every few moments.

The mobile in his pocket buzzed. He flicked it on as discreetly as he could under the edge of the tablecloth. A message from Clara, asking him to please calm down and pay attention to his date, just this once.

He forced himself to speak. “So, exobiology. Err. Found anything interesting on this world?”

“Oh, loads. I’ve been here twenty years now, came right out of graduate school. My dissertation was actually on one of the creatures that fulfills insect-like niches here. The life on this planet underwent several large-scale extinctions, much like Earth, but of course we have a chance to get it right from the start this time and prevent ourselves from causing another chair of losses.”

“That’s really interesting,” he said. He hoped he appeared engaged. Something was really tugging at his mind. He felt the fob watch pulsing in his pocket, whispering to him.

“The most interesting thing, of course, is that we found bilateral symmetry yet again. It seems common on most worlds, once you get past the simplest life forms.”

“Uh-huh.” The salad was being served. The Doctor glanced down at his plate then up at Clara, who had her fork halfway to her mouth. “Clara, don’t!” he called from across the table.

She put her fork down. “Sorry, what?”

“Pine nuts,” he said, eyes fixed on his plate. “You’re allergic.”

He lifted his eyes just in time to catch a flicker of a pout cross her face, followed by recognition. “You- you’re right. How’d I manage to forget that?”

“Don’t know.” Odd that he’d have such a foreboding feeling over something that could have, at worst, resulted in him having to withdraw her allergy medication from his coat. He felt the interior pocket where he kept it. His fingers grazed the fob watch. It was burning.

A crash, followed by swearing. Someone must have dropped something in the kitchen. He withdrew his hand from his pocket and picked up his fork. He just needed to get through this dinner, excuse himself as early as possible, get to Verduke, and destroy their tracking machine.

He lifted the fork toward his mouth and looked across the table at Clara. The soft light of the room reflected off her eyes. Over her shoulder a Verdukian approached with a large knife.

Oh. That wasn’t right. He heard himself shout “run!” as he climbed over the table.

Bridges shrieked. A flicker of red appeared in his field of vision as Clara tugged her date under the table. The Doctor launched himself at the oncoming alien.

They grappled on the floor. The Doctor was taller but Verdukians were heavily muscled and this one managed to quickly gain the upper hand. The blade of the knife came threateningly close to his temple. He kicked at the alien’s knee and she jerked forward, giving him a chance to wedge his boot under his adversary’s leg. With a sharp twist he reversed their positions and gripped the wrist of the hand that held the knife. The weapon hung between them, gleaming in the candlelit ballroom.

React the wrong way and he’d end up regenerating right here, surely loosing Clara in the process. Time things correctly and he might have this person in a position to negotiate. Summoning all his knowledge of Verdukian anatomy the Doctor pressed his thumb against the alien’s wrist. Her fingers sprang apart reflexively and she dropped the knife. The Doctor snatched it out of free fall a nanosecond before it stuck in the alien’s head.

He gripped the knife and stared down at his attacker. She had tried to kill Clara, but she was still a sentient being. He paused, took a breath, and oriented the knife toward the pressure point on her wrist.

“How did you find Clara?” he asked.

“Through you, obviously,” the Verdukian woman replied. “I intend to kill you here and bring her home as a sacrifice to replace the one she freed.”

“What makes you think I won’t kill you first?” he asked.

“The Doctor doesn’t murder directly, that isn’t your style. I know you’ve been watching us, and we’ve been learning about you too.”

“Is that so? Well, the one thing whatever you’ve found didn’t tell you is I’ll do absolutely anything if it’s to protect her.”

The Verdukian laughed. “Is that so? Because if you were going to kill me I think you’d have already done it.” To prove her point she wiggled underneath him, slipping further away from the blade. “I’ve already called for backup; my tracker is sending out the signal now. Too late.”

The Doctor pressed the knife against her wrist. “I know what this point does. Now get talking or I’ll do it.” The Verdukian shook her head. The Doctor pushed the blade down and a drop of silver liquid escaped the alien’s skin.

He could feel her pulse quickening beneath him. “Ok, ok, I’ll talk. We caught your biosignature, last time you were at our compound. It’s funny, it seemed like you had been looking for some great, large machine- we’ve got it pocket sized now, which is why you never found anything.”

“Pocket-sized biotracing?” said the Doctor.

“Yes, I thought you of all people would understand the need to go portable.”

Clara rushed forward and began patting the Verdukian’s pockets. “Got it!” she said. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were the brightest they’d been in months. She looked so much like the full Clara, _his_ Clara, that the Doctor forgot himself for a moment. He stared at her, nearly overlooking that he was still kneeling over an alien assassin and that Clara’s true essence was locked in a watch. “How do I destroy this, then?” Clara asked, jolting him back to reality.

“Err, ah. My left vest pocket. It’s a sonic screwdriver. Setting 937. Pull down there- right.” She reached into his pocket and withdrew the sonic. Pride welled up from his hearts as he watched her short out the tracker and sever the line of communication between the Verdukian soldier and her backup.

In his distraction his grip slipped and the assailant wiggled a hand free, tapped the emergency teleport on her wrist, and vanished. The Doctor’s knees crashed to the floor with a thud.

He felt a hand grip his arm, yanking him up to his feet. A very confused Clara Oswald grabbed his hand and tugged him outside.

“I can explain,” he said as soon as they reached the sidewalk.  

“No, first let me. Everything before about two months ago is very hazy. It seems like the only thing I remember properly is that you and I are friends and we came here together. I didn’t even remember my own allergy. And then tonight we get attacked by an alien with a really nasty looking knife, and you say you’d kill for me!” Clara paused to draw a breath, then launched back into her tirade. “My heart starts racing and I realize during these two months the only time I ever felt anything like myself was when I was close to you. So what is it, huh?” Another pause, a ragged breath, and her cheeks flushed to the same shade her dress. He’d never seen such a wonderful sight. “I keep thinking I must be in love with you.”

The Doctor hung his head. “This isn’t- you aren’t. You aren’t in love with me.” He reached inside his coat and brought out the watch. “We’re friends, travelling companions. Time travelers. You did something brave and stupid and the Verdukians wanted revenge. Since they’re excellent trackers I had to seal your true self inside this watch to keep them from finding you. I hid you here while I sneaked off to try to stop them.”

“Are they on their way now? Are we in danger?”

The Doctor smiled. “That’s my Clara.” She smiled. “Not _my_ Clara,” he corrected hastily, “I mean, not like that. The Clara I travel with, always worried about what comes next. Don’t worry, now that you cleverly stole one of their devices I can fly over Verduk and release a radio wave that will destroy all of their trackers.”

“And what’s all this have to do with ‘the Doctor?’”

“That’s me. My proper name, or as close as I have to one now. I’m not human.” He reached out to her and placed the watch in her hands.

“So you lied to me all this time?”

“To keep you safe.”

“And I thought I loved you because you were actually carrying me inside your jacket?”

“That’s the general idea, yes. In love with your imprisoned essence, very narcissistic of you!” She didn’t laugh, perhaps he’d chosen the wrong moment to attempt to lighten the mood. “Errr…but now the threat is over and you can open that watch. You’ll be restored and we can get back to traveling, isn’t that great?”

Clara took a step back. “What happens to this me? What happens to what I’m building here?”

“We pick up and go, that’s our lifestyle. The TARDIS, that’s our ship, she has a way of tightening loose ends. Then we sail off on the next adventure, just like that.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, I don’t know.” She shook her head again. “Everything feels wrong, I need some space.”

“Oh excellent, there’s this nebula I wanted to show you, beautiful colors. Just the space you need.”

“No, not that. Physical space, emotional space. I need some time to figure out which Clara Oswald I want to be. The kind that travels with an alien man who lies to her about who she is? Or the one I am right now, who honestly seems the more reasonable version.”

“That. Right. I’ll just-”

“Two weeks. Come back in two weeks.”

“Ok.”


	10. Chapter Ten

The Doctor walked home alone under the clear skies. Proper home, his TARDIS home. He didn’t know if he was welcome in the house he and Clara had shared.

He piloted his ship to Verduk and programed the right set of radio waves to destroy all of the trackers. No more Verdukian threat. Now the only thing standing between him and his old life was Clara’s decision.

He desperately wanted to skip ahead but forced himself to wait. Perhaps she would open the watch of her own accord. Somehow he thought he’d feel it if she did. Or she might call him and then he could pop right in.

So he landed on a beach in Solum and waited the full two weeks, planning trips they might never take. When the two weeks were up he knocked on her door.

“Hello,” she said. 

“Hi.”

“How have you been?”

He shrugged. “Can’t complain. Fixed up a few of the TARDIS’ circuits. She’s humming and ready to go.”

“You didn’t go anywhere?”

The Doctor waived his hand dismissively. “No, no. What’s an extra two weeks during the course of a two thousand year life span?”

“Two-thousand? Really?”

“Yes. I, um. Regenerate, when something happens. New body, old memories.”

“And me, how old am I, really?”

“Oh. Well, about thirty I’d expect, seeing as you have spent some time away from Earth traveling with me. We aren’t so good about calendars, you and I.”

Her face fell. “I’m like a goldfish to you.”

“Sort of?”

“You don’t have to be so cheery about my mortality.”

“What? Oh- common misconception. It all comes down to habitat. If you give a goldfish an environment where they can flourish they’re actually rather long-lived, as fish go.”

“Are you always this mad?”

“Most of the time. You said it even more when I wore a bowtie.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind.”

“Can I see the ship?” Clara asked suddenly.

“Of course. I parked it down on the shore.”

The Doctor nearly skipped with glee as he led Clara to the TARDIS. Surely this would bring her home. No one ever saw the TARDIS without being impressed.

She walked around the outside then entered the ship. She ran her hands over the levers, looked the staircase up and down, and leaned against railing.

The Doctor tried to suppress a grin. “Go on, say it. Everyone always says it.”

Clara shrugged. “I see how we traveled in this. Looks comfortable enough.”

The grin faded. “Comfortable?”

“Yeah. Large enough to seat a few, warm enough. Seems fine.”

“You don’t find anything about it…impressive?”

Clara laughed. “A ship that’s smaller on the outside, after everything you’ve told me, is supposed to be the impressive thing? Compared to your age, the alien assassins, and the fact that I currently live inside a pocket watch?”

“You don’t _live_ inside the pocket watch, you’re just being stored there, while you live out here. Two different pieces of you.”

“Tell me more about watch-Clara. What’s she like, how’s she different from me?”

“Well, I’d like to say she’s less rude but that’s not true. Umm. She’s got a job. Teaching English at Cole Hill School.”

“So I’m not Dr. Oswald?”

“No. I think you’ve done a Masters.”

Clara’s eyes narrowed. “You think? How well do you actually know me? Was I kidnapped?”

“No, no nothing like that.” He needed to think of another personal detail quickly. “Err. You’ve got a gran.”

“I have?”

“Yes and a dad.” She opened her mouth to speak again but he could see the next question in her eyes. “And your mum- you lost her.” Clara bit her lip. “I’m sorry.” He thought of all the grief he had re-experienced when he opened _his_ fobwatch all those years ago. A sickening feeling settled into his stomach.

“And we aren’t romantic partners. So do I have-?”

He wanted to touch her but couldn’t bring himself to cross the distance between them. He took a settling breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Again, you did have.”

“What was their name?”

“Danny Pink. He was a good man. Saved your life even after his ended.” He shook his head. “You won’t want the details.”

“But they’re my details to have.”

“And all there, inside the watch.”

“Did I get him killed? Did living like this, inside this box with you, did I hurt him?”

“He was used as a pawn by a tremendously threatening person.”

Clara smiled sadly. “Then that’s all I need to know.” She turned and walked toward the door of the TARDIS.

“Wait!” he called after her. But she was out of the door now, retreating quickly. He launched himself forward, got in front of her, and held up both hands. “It wasn’t like that, not what you’re thinking. Not your fault, my fault, well technically Missy’s fault, which sort of makes it my fault.”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t like who I was, and this is an opportunity to change that. So thanks, I guess.”

“What about your school, your family?” Not, though he wanted to shout it, ‘what about me?’

She crossed her arms. “You owe me. Bring me any journals, photos, any records you have. Once a month, land your ship in my garden. Fly me home for a weekend, then back here. No detours.”

“Clara-“

“I’ll quit my job on Earth. And I’ll tell my dad and my gran I’m teaching abroad. It’s close enough to true. Come back in a few weeks to start it. Now go.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

Awful dreams and a big empty house. But Clara was brave and perhaps more importantly, stubborn. She endured the dissonance of being a woman halved by alien technology, on a foreign world, by simply refusing to let it affect her work.

Her personal life was more difficult to manage. The conversation with Josiah was brief, just a casual chat on bench outside his office.

“Is it Smith?” he asked her. She watched his expression shift between concern and confusion.

“No. Not in the way you’d expect, at least. I’m done with him. But I’m also not sure exactly who I am. I need to declutter.”

“Oh.”

“Not to say you’re clutter. Just my life- it’s more complicated than I’ve let on. Now’s not a great time for me to be starting anything. I’m in more of a wrapping up place.”

“You’ve just gotten here. What’s there to wrap up?”

Clara laughed, with a hint of bitterness escaping underneath the mirth. “Internal stuff, mostly. Honestly, you’re lovely and I’m sure you’re going to find someone to be lovely to, probably very soon, as this seems to be a planet lousy with adventurous single people. But I don’t think relationships are for me.”

Josiah shrugged. “Fair enough. If you ever change your mind, I’d like very much to know.”

Clara put her arm around his shoulders and patted his back. “And if you ever crack that secret to time travel, make sure to drop me a line.”

\--

When she arrived back at her house she found a box on the steps. So, he was observing her then, waiting until she stepped away for a moment. She dragged it inside and pulled out each item, examining traces of the other-Clara’s world.

These were the items she’d apparently found important enough to bring onboard the TARDIS. There were several small rings, a few pairs of shoes, and plenty of books. A few photos in frames. Snaps of a dark haired man and a round faced woman dressed in formal attire, perhaps her parent’s wedding? Yes, here was the same couple holding an infant and smiling. An older woman featured heavily as well, probably her gran. Next was a book, 101 Places to See, with a leaf pressed between the pages. What was that about? She racked her brain trying to recall the significance. It wasn’t fair that the awful Clara in the watch, who’d apparently gotten involved in something that got her boyfriend murdered, got to know these things and this Clara, trying so hard to be better, was shut out.

She almost stopped right then but something else was caught in the pages. She slowly pulled on the item which ultimately revealed itself to be a card, with a snowy scene on the cover. She opened the card and found a message.

Clara,

I’m trying to convince the TARDIS to find a way to send this to you after I’m gone. Without you I don’t know if I would have found the courage to confront my actions in the Time War or to take my place here on Trenzalore. I wish we could have traveled together longer. I’m happy to know I could show you a few places and you could show me what bravery looks like.

Thank you seems inadequate, so I’ll just say yours sincerely,

The Doctor

Clara’s breath caught in her throat. Evidently the other-Clara had taught him something. And apparently he had it in him to be grateful.

She needed more information and could not wait for the Doctor to return. If he returned. She’d forced him to promise, but he’d left this box when she wasn’t home and without a note. She reached into her pocket and brushed her fingers against the watch.


	12. Chapter Twelve

She had almost left him before, of course. Right when she started teaching, again after the moon, then once more after Danny died. But this was different because she was as angry with herself as she was with him.

Rather than deal with it directly he’d left the items for her, then sought distraction. Donna had told him years before that he needed to travel with someone and perhaps that was true. He’d grown a bit reckless, nearly regenerating on a moon around a gas giant after electrocuting himself diffusing a bomb. Only the thought of having to present an already confused not-quite-Clara with a new face kept him from just giving into the searing pain.

Eventually he had to face her, so he picked a day and landed in her garden. Snow had fallen and the trees were delicately encased in a thin sheet of ice. He’d forgotten how cold it could become here. He ought to have left Clara with more warm clothing. Rummaging through the TARDIS he came up with a long parka in about her size.

He stepped through the unblemished snow and reached her door. As he raised a fist to knock she pulled the door open.

“Heard your ship landing. Talk inside?”

He nodded. “Here’s your winter coat. You left it on board.

“Thank you.” She waived him inside. “Can I get you something? Coffee, tea?”

“Coffee’s fine, thanks.” She was being polite, which was more frightening than angry, because when she was angry he knew she at least cared.

He took the mug she offered him and sat down on the sofa. She stared straight ahead and said in a flat tone, “I need some questions answered.”

“I can usually help with that sort of thing.”

“What’s the Time War?”

He exhaled heavily. “Big start. Well. Which one?”

“Don’t try to be funny. When people, _human_ people at least, say ‘the Great War,’ we know which one we’re talking about. Isn’t this Time War thing like that for your lot?”

“That depends on when you’re speaking from. Were you from the year 2335 you’d have a different Great War in mind.”

“Enough dodging. The Time War.”

“Time Lords against Daleks. Nearly swallowed the universe whole. Several of my regenerations were involved in various ways.”

“You were a soldier?”

The Doctor felt a growl rising through him, but he tamped it back. Still, his next words came out hoarse. “No. Not exactly. It’s complicated.”

“Ok. Was watch-Clara involved?”

“I nearly killed my entire race. You were there when I didn’t. Three of me, with our hands on the trigger, versus one of you, five-foot-one and crying. We never stood a chance.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. You convinced me there was another way, and without that I wouldn’t be the man I am today. And now the Time Lords aren’t gone, they’re just missing.”

“And Trenzalore?”

He paused for a moment to consider his next words. “The previous me, the one in the bow tie. You met him first, from my perspective- he’s the first me that remembered you. Anyway, you met all the other mes, because you jumped into my time stream to save me.” He smiled. “I called you my impossible girl.”

He turned to face her and found she was now cross-legged on the couch staring back at him. Her head was tilted to the side, and her face has softened.

“She did all that?”

“You did. You’ve saved me so many times.”

“But Danny?”

“Yes, that was terrible. It hurt you, and you loved him so much that you begged me to fix it. Threatened me, even. And despite all of my rules and the risk we ran, I care for you so much I did it.”

There were tears in her eyes now. “He came back?”

“No. Because Danny was a good man but a complicated one, just like you are. You see, Danny was a soldier. And he accidently killed a young boy. When given the opportunity to come back, as much as he loved you, and as sorry as he was to leave you, he sent the child back instead.”

Clara had the watch in her palm now. She looked up at him.

“Why did you ask, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“There was a postcard stuck in my book.”

“Oh? From who?”

“You.”

His face felt warm. “Oh. That thing. I got sentimental, you see, I thought I was dying, and I ought to have, except you appealed to the Time Lords and they granted me a new regeneration cycle.”

“I thought you said the Time Lords were missing?”

“You always find a way.”

She looked brighter, though still unsure. “That’s a lot to take in.”

“Your story is more than you realize. Adventure, cleverness, fear.” He paused and reached for the hand that wasn’t holding the watch. “Love. Clara, everything you are inside the watch is absolutely worth the universe.”

She flipped the watch open.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Clara felt herself torn apart and sutured back together several times in quick succession. Her own screams echoed inside her head as her vision swam.

When she awoke she was slumped over in a chair. She began to sit up properly and take in her surroundings. The TARDIS lights flickered around her. She laid back against the headrest.

“Good thing you’re coming to, I was almost ready to worry,” the Doctor said from the other side of the console. He came around it and leaned over her. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by the TARDIS.”

“Well, the chameleon arch was designed for Time Lords and your biology is a bit more fragile. Sorry about that. I’ll give you something for the pain if you’d like.”

“Just a glass of water.”

The Doctor returned a moment later with a glass of water and a small green pill. “It’ll help, come on.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “Fine, you win.” She sat up and swallowed the pill. “So.”

“So. You’re you again. How’s that?”

“Next time can you make it less painful?”

“If it’s all the same to you I plan to avoid a next time. Are your memories alright?”

“I think so, yeah. We were running, someone was after us. You put me in that thing, we lived on a planet, the aliens found us, you defeated them but revealed that I wasn’t me? Then I got mad at myself and told you to go.”

“That’s about it.” He sank down next to her chair. “No regrets on becoming yourself again? I remember when I did it I felt off for a bit. I’d met this nurse, she was brilliant, but she loved the chameleon arched me and had no interest in the regular me. For a while I wish she’d come along but ultimately I think she was happier in the long run declining the invitation.”

“Nope, no one I want you to go back for.”

“Are you sure Clara? Because if you liked Bridges well enough we could arrange something.”

“Now who’s being impossible? I’ve got all the companionship I need right here.”

A blush crept over the Doctor’s face. “I may have said…certain things. To convince you to, you know, open the watch.”

Before this experience she might have let it go, let him sweep what he’d said under the rug. But not now that she knew what it was like to live without him and she’d been reminded all over again what they meant to one another.

“Nope. I don’t buy that,” she replied. The Doctor’s eyes were wide with fear. “You meant it. I’m not going to make you say it again, don’t worry. But don’t think I don’t remember it happening. And don’t for single moment, doubt that I feel the same way.”

A grin crossed his face, overtaking the blush. “In that case, where to next?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Endings are hard for me, so this will probably come off a bit rushed. I didn't pre-plan this well, it's very loosely written, but it's a relief to have it done so I can start on a more well thought-out project I have in mind. Thanks for reading!


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